Lifestyle
Dating app inspo: 2 couples who said ‘I do’ after swiping right
It’s not just Gen Z and Millennials looking for love online – plenty of older people are on the apps too. And, guess what, for some it’s the best thing they ever did.
By Carolyn Tate
Love in the digital age looks a little bit different than it used to. Where once you might meet someone through friends, or at a party or community event, these days, more and more people are swiping right into romance.
Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are playing matchmaker, and it’s not just the young ones who are reaping the benefits. Sure, some folks might raise an eyebrow at the idea of finding ‘the one’ online, but for many couples, it's become their real-life love story.
If you’d like some inspiration to believe in the power of digital chemistry, these couples are here to share their journeys from tentative first message to ‘I do’.
“Life’s too short to wait for happiness”
Mandy, 64, and Pete, 69 - Brisbane
Mandy had been living alone since she lost her husband Richard to cancer 10 years ago. With her two adult children living interstate and overseas, she was busy and active with work, community groups and friends, but she says she missed having that special someone to come home to.
“I’ve always been a social person,” says Mandy, “and I missed those little things about being married, like eating dinner together, having someone to share everything with… but there wasn’t anyone that interested me in my social circles, and I never want to get work mixed up with my personal life, so I thought I’d give the apps a go."
Pete is retired, divorced and never had kids. He says it was Mandy’s smile that made him swipe right on her instantly.
“There was something about her that stopped me in my tracks,” he beams. “I had a funny feeling about her the moment I saw her. Not love at first sight, exactly, but that feeling that she was going to be significant in my life – and, boy, was I right!”
Mandy says she was cautious about meeting people she saw online, but using Bumble – where women are the only ones who can send the first message – made her feel more secure. After the two matched, Mandy sent Pete a message asking about his border collie, who was in several of Pete’s photos, and the two quickly bonded over their love of their pets and their active lifestyles.
Mandy and Pete sent messages for a few weeks before agreeing to meet for a coffee.
“I was still being cautious,” says Mandy, “but it was easy from the start. Pete was so friendly and relaxed – he made any awkwardness disappear immediately.”
That was six years ago now, and the couple have been married for nearly five years.
“Life’s too short to wait for happiness,” says Pete. “I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Mandy after about a week of knowing her, and I didn’t want to waste any more time.”
“I wasn’t looking for something serious”
Jen, 54, and Paul, 59 - Melbourne
Both Jen and Paul say they were bruised and not ready for a relationship when they met eight years ago. Jen’s husband of 19 years had left suddenly six months earlier, and Paul had recently endured a drawn-out, bitter divorce. Each had two teenage sons at home, which meant they were busy working parents
“Honestly, I just wanted some adult company,” says Jen. “I wasn’t looking for a husband. I was just so sad and my ego probably needed a boost. I thought it would be fun to date for a while and have someone tell me I’m pretty - I loved dating when I was in my twenties!”
Paul was the first person Jen matched with on Tinder, and she was happy to go for an after-work drink and see what happened.
Although there was a spark from the start, both Jen and Paul were reluctant to take things further. Jen says she thinks meeting on the apps meant she felt comfortable being upfront about what she was looking for.
“I told Paul from the start I wasn’t looking for something serious,” she says, “and I’m not sure how comfortable I would have been having that conversation if we’d met more organically. The apps make it really easy to be clear and intentional, and I loved that.
The pair continued to see other people for a few months, without anything progressing beyond a first date. But Paul says his mind kept wandering back to Jen.
“The most amazing woman I’d ever met”
“She was so vibrant, so fun and intelligent,” he smiles. “I knew she’d been hurt, and I had too. I didn’t want to push her, but I also thought she was the most amazing woman I’d ever met and I couldn’t let her disappear from my life.”
Jen says she held Paul at arms’ length for quite a while before eventually realising he was the one for her, but that didn’t mean she was ready to rush into anything.
“We dated for over six months before I would agree to be exclusive, even though I wasn’t even seeing anyone else, and I’d deleted Tinder from my phone!” Jen says.
“We were together for six years before we even moved in together, but it was just six months after that we got married, and now I can’t imagine my life any other way.”
Tips for getting started on dating apps
Ready to give dating apps a try? If they’re new to you they might seem a little bit confronting at first, as all new experiences can be, but these tips can help:
- Create a genuine profile that reflects who you are. Share (recent!) photos that show you doing things you love, and if you don’t have any, ask a friend to take a few for you. Write in your profile about what you love to do, and also the sort of person you’re interested in meeting.
- Be clear about what you’re looking for, which can help cut out casual ‘hook-up’ contacts – unless that’s what you’re looking for, of course. No judgement here!
- Don’t share sensitive information, and always arrange to meet in a public place, letting someone know where you’re going and who you’re meeting. A quick google of someone before you meet can also help you to feel more comfortable, to make sure they are who they say they are.
- Take your time. Do things at your own pace and don’t feel like you have to meet before you’re ready. Even though apps are new, dating is as old as time, and you have every right to do it in a way that works for you.
- Have fun! Meeting new people – whether they turn out to be a great love, a new friend, or perhaps just a good story – can be fun if you don’t take it too seriously. Try not to feel pressure and just see where things go.
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