Lifestyle

How to conquer loneliness (without technology)

Loneliness impacts both younger and older people, with Healthdirect saying it can lead to physical and mental symptoms that affect our health. Here are some ideas to help you connect in person with others.

By Alex Brooks

Here’s a shocking fact: loneliness can be a silent killer, with lonely people having a 26% increased risk of death.

It’s a significant issue among older adults, people who live alone, and groups such as those who identify as LGBTQI, First Nations, or migrants, according to a 2022 Australian report by the Groundswell Foundation and KPMG.

It’s important to understand that social isolation can be different to loneliness.

Loneliness is a feeling of lack of connection and a desire for more satisfying relationships.

Social isolation - which is also linked to mental illness, dementia and poor health behaviours - is having infrequent social contact.

A person can be socially isolated but not lonely, or socially connected but still feel lonely.

In an age where technology promises to bring us closer, online tools like texting, video calls, and social media can sometimes fall short. They offer the illusion of connection, but often lack the depth of authentic interaction.

To cultivate real connections, try one of these 6 ideas and see if they work for you:

1. Sharing offers caring and connection

Simple acts of sharing are powerful. For example, if your vegetable garden has an abundance of tomatoes, chokos or zucchinis, leave some on a neighbour’s doorstep with a note.

Similarly, share flowers or place a book you’ve enjoyed in a street library for others to read afterwards.

These gestures can help weave a tapestry of connection and purpose, contributing to not only your own personal happiness but others, too.

2. Bonding over food matters

Good food and conversation are universal connectors. Start a dinner club with friends – rotate hosting duties and experiment with different foods and recipes.

If that feels too ambitious, invite someone for coffee or plan a picnic in a local beauty spot (water views are so good for happiness, aren’t they?).

For those who are homebound, sharing recipes and discussing food online or over the phone can work too.

3. Strike up conversations that are meaningful

It’s easy to talk about the weather, but conversations that truly connect us go deeper. Engage in better conversations by using this approach:

Ask open-ended questions
Allow for silence
Listen attentively
Share your own insights and stories

Being open about your own loneliness can also foster connections. Admitting vulnerabilities can endear you to others and pave the way for genuine connections.

4. Telephone calls, not text messages

A brief phone call just to say hello can brighten someone’s day. Mention upfront if you only have a minute but want to reach out.

Similarly, a quick doorstep visit can be a pleasant surprise for someone, showing you care without causing stress. You could even go totally old school and send a card or handwritten note.

5. Volunteer to find meaning

Volunteering is a powerful way to connect. Google 'seek volunteer' to find open roles near you. You can also call your local council, RSPCA or op shop to see if they need a hand.

Find organisations or causes that are close to your heart, work out how much time you can give and start slowly.

6. Smile more

Smiling has a contagious effect due to something called 'mirror neurons', which react when we observe others. Smiling at someone can lift their spirits and yours, fostering a positive, connected community.

Whether through sharing, conversation, volunteering, or simply smiling, we can all take steps to enrich our lives and create a network of meaningful relationships. But if you feel like you’re really struggling to find connections with others, please reach out to your doctor for support.