Lifestyle

One and done: make a single New Year's resolution you’ll actually keep

Forget long lists of half-baked promises you know you can’t keep. This year, pick one goal and use our science-backed advice to achieve it.

By Sabrina Rogers-Anderson

Are you tired of starting off the new year filled with hope that you’ll finally make much-needed changes in your life only to melt into a puddle of shame when you inevitably “fail” before January is out?

“There's such a danger in the idea that you're going to start the new year with this huge level of motivation, have more time and resources, and basically be a different person,” says leading habit expert and director of the Habit Change Institute Dr Gina Cleo.

“The reality is that's not the case at all. You’re no different than you were the day before. In fact, you're probably less motivated because you're full of turkey!”

We also tend to set ourselves up for failure by casting our net too wide when we’re making resolutions.

“For years, I’d start the new year with this long list of resolutions like going to the gym 5 days a week, giving up alcohol and sugar, seeing my family more often, going on monthly date nights with my husband, and being more patient with my kids,” says Lucy. “I never once made it to the end of the first week of January until I pared it all back and focused on one simple goal. That was a game-changer.”

Ready to nail your New Year’s resolution in 2025? Here’s how.

Make a single resolution and plan out how you’ll achieve it

To make changes that will stick, simplify, simplify, simplify.

“We often compare ourselves to what others are doing, especially on social media,” says Dr Cleo. “When we see these long lists of goals they’re striving towards, we feel compelled to do more. But, honestly, it doesn't work.

“Our brain is only capable of making up to 3 changes at one time and research shows that if we focus on one thing at a time, we're much more likely to achieve it.”

One approach is to choose a single word as your resolution – such as calm, family or health – and then break it down into a series of concrete steps.

The SMART approach is an evidence-based method to set and achieve your goals. SMART stands for:

  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Achievable
  • Relevant
  • Time-bound

If you’d like to be more active, set a specific goal such as walking for 30 minutes 5 times a week. Decide on a timeline for achieving your goal and plan how you’ll get there.

This might help too: How to get over your aversion to exercise

You might start walking for 10 minutes 3 times a week and slowly build up your time and frequency. Add your walks to your calendar so you don’t forget them. 

Using an app or smartwatch to track your time and distance will help you measure your progress and adjust accordingly. 

The more specific and detailed you are in your goal-setting strategy, the more likely you are to achieve your objective.

Start (really) small

“The first step is always the hardest, so make it as easy as possible,” says Dr Cleo. “That means doing something you really enjoy or making the first step so small that you feel like you can't say no to doing it.

“I worked with a client who hadn’t exercised in years and found the idea really daunting. I told him all I wanted him to do was put on his shoes for the first week. He found that when he put his shoes on, he was more likely to walk around the house and go out to the letterbox. Then he eventually walked down the road and around the block. This step-by-step pattern continued until, a year later, he did a 10-kilometre race!”

Start with something manageable, make it a habit, then build from there. Image: iStock/Diamond Dogs

If your goal is to eat more vegetables, start by eating two carrot sticks at lunchtime. Or if you want to save money, kick off your resolution by putting aside $5 a week.

“Our brain doesn't know the difference between achieving something really big and something tiny,” Dr Cleo explains. “It just thinks, ‘I've achieved something!’, which feels good and reinforces the habit. So, focus on small steps and build up.”

Set yourself up for success

Tracey wanted to spend more time with friends and family because she found her mental health suffered when she didn’t, but her introverted nature and social anxiety led her to cancel plans at the last minute.

“I finally cracked it and set up regular catch-ups with people and told them they weren’t allowed to let me cancel,” she laughs. “I had a standing coffee date with my friend on Wednesday mornings and dinner at my cousin’s once a month. I tried to cancel on my friend a couple of times, but she drove to my house to pick me up! I’m feeling so much better now that I’m socialising more.”

Dr Cleo recommends removing any barriers to entry when it comes to sticking to your resolution.

“Again, make it as easy as possible for yourself,” she says. “Put it in your diary. Exercise in the morning so you don’t have time to make excuses. Prepare healthy snacks ahead of time so they’re an easy choice.”

Hold yourself accountable

Everyone is different when it comes to staying on track with their goals, so find what works for you. It can pay to get creative in your approach!

“Tell a friend you’re going to an exercise class so you can’t back out,” says Dr Cleo. “I signed up for a Pilates class where you get fined $10 if you don’t go! There’s even a gym in Amsterdam that charges an astronomical amount for their membership, but they deduct an amount every time you go. The more you go, the less you pay at the end of the month.”

If you want to recreate this formula on your own, Dr Cleo suggests forcing yourself to donate $10 to a cause you dislike every time you don’t stick to your plan. “It can’t be an animal shelter because you’ll want to support that,” she says. “It has to be something you hate!”

Accept setbacks as part of the process 

“Falling off the wagon isn’t a question of if, but when,” says Dr Cleo. “It helps to stop looking at your success story as all or nothing and realise it’s non-linear.

“Even the most successful people in the world have setbacks. The difference is that they get back up quickly – not next Monday or next month or after their birthday. Get back up right now. Don't even wait for tomorrow.”

When being a quitter is a good thing

If you’re trying to break or moderate a habit rather than create a new one, the process is a bit more complex. But creating barriers for the habit can help you succeed.

“Say you’re trying to cut back on alcohol,” says Dr Cleo. “Move all the alcohol and wine glasses to a hard-to-reach shelf that requires a stepladder so it isn’t an automatic action. Keeping the reasons why you want to cut back at the front of your mind, maybe by writing a list and reading it regularly, can also help.”

Keeping it simple

You’re not a failure because you can’t stick to the impossibly high standards you set for yourself when a new year rolls around. The key to success is to simplify the resolution process and set small, achievable objectives on the path to your big goal. 

Don’t forget to treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you would give a friend who’s trying to make lasting changes. If you have a setback, don’t berate yourself. Simply dust yourself off and try again.

Feature image: iStock/SolStock

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